On Suffering

“My soul is elastic, like a balloon. It can grow larger through suffering.” 

In North American culture, I think we often treat suffering as something to rush past, get through, and “heal from” as quickly as possible. Other worldviews see suffering as an expected part of the human experience, but we have somehow taught ourselves in America to firmly believe the world owes us a life of peace, prosperity, and happiness. I believe in this, we've done ourselves a great disservice. Suffering is something which shapes and forms our souls. It is not an event, a moment, or an experience in time. It is a myriad of emotions, events, words, memories, and thoughts all meshed together into someone’s inner being. Suffering is an experience which becomes an integral part of our inner being. Suffering is part of the human experience. It is a universal experience. One cannot escape suffering in this life. It bombards into our lives without asking, and without often without offering any reason for its presence. A life of peace, prosperity, and the pursuit of happiness is not promised to many humans, even in North America, but a life of suffering is unavoidable. 

I think people often imagine a life devoid of suffering to automatically be a happy one;  but a life devoid of suffering is not necessarily a happy one. A life with meaning is a happy life. A person who finds a sense of meaning and purpose in their life, often finds happiness to be a by-product in their journey. Interestingly, I think people often find their meaning and purpose to be profoundly formed through intense times of pain and suffering. Happiness is a by-product, not an end-goal in and of itself. Learning to suffer and how to suffer well is important. Suffering and pain are an inevitable part of the human experience. We are often deluded into thinking happiness is our ultimate goal. The subtle cultural messaging is to protect yourself at all costs; cutting off relationships which drain you, leaving difficult jobs, manifesting your future, medicating yourself for anxiety, and avoiding the reality of life as it is in this world. (I do think there are many situations which call for the use of medications to seriously help individuals who need it, but here I’m talking about a more general part of the population). Current cultural messaging suggests happiness is found in avoiding difficult situations, suffering, pain, and imperfect relationships at all costs. The problem is that happiness is not a state of being to be attained and kept. It is a volatile emotion which comes and goes. 

Meaning and purpose are often found on the other side of committed relationships (which are difficult, challenging, often anxiety-inducing, and beautiful), intense times of suffering and loss, and difficult circumstances. The more meaning and purpose a person can find within their inner locus of control, the more they may experience “happiness” as they walk through their journey. 

Attempting to avoid reality and trying to avoid the suffering intrinsic to our human experience deprives us of the opportunity for God to show Himself in our lives within the intensity of raw pain, real vulnerability, and mystery of sin we face. There is no making perfect “sense” of suffering. When you lose someone you love and cannot see any ‘good’ come from it, any ‘sense’ in the circumstances, or feel any peace in the loss, it is nothing but a mystery why the loss has happened. I don’t claim to understand why God miraculously intervenes in some situations and appears to not intervene in others. Simply, God is God and I am not. I am both grateful for this and at times, incredibly frustrated as I don’t understand what He is doing, or how He is moving for our good amidst the opposing forces of evil in the world. God does not owe me an explanation for how He forms us through suffering, or why there is so much suffering in the world. I trust that He is good, and yet as one of  C.S. Lewis’ characters in The Chronicles of Narnia reflects, when asked if Aslan, the lion who symbolizes God in his novels, is ‘safe,’ the character replies, “‘Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver. ‘Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.’ Mr. Tumnus also says, “He’s wild, you know. Not a tame lion” - C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia. 

I do know followers of Jesus for thousands of years have been shaped and formed by the Spirit while experiencing deep pain and suffering. Leaning into the Presence of God during times of pain, suffering, anxiety, and anger are the moments of spiritual formation we tend to avoid in North America. Our praise songs are all praise, praise, praise. Which is an adequate spiritual worship experience when your life is going well and peace, prosperity, and happiness are your reality. But when suffering barges into your life and reality seems to clash with your theology, praise becomes difficult and feels insincere and disingenuous. The Bible shows people in the midst of these moments of crisis lamenting. “Lamenting is a profound expression of sorrow, grief, or mourning, often articulated in the form of poetry, or song. In the Biblical context, lament is a significant theme, reflecting the human experience of suffering and the quest for divine intervention and comfort” (Topical bible: Lament. (n.d.). https://biblehub.com/topical/l/lament.htm). 

 Honesty enables God to speak to you in pain. The spiritual practice of lamenting invites the Presence of God to meet you where you are and to heal, form, speak into your pain, and be with you. Covering your pain with praise because of guilt, shame, or emotionally unhealthy spirituality which tells you to shove down and bury your difficult emotions because God only meets us “on the mountaintop” with joy and peace, is simply unbiblical. 

Times of suffering form us. They do not define us, because what Jesus has done FOR us defines us. Although these times are not themselves our identity, they are a part of our identity. They have shaped us, formed us, broken us, opened us up to healing, and played an incredibly pivotal role in our experience often changing our life’s trajectory forever. The way of discipleship as a follower of Jesus has “consequences in joy” (Peterson, E. H., & Peterson, L. (2021). Long obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society. InterVarsity Press). Following Jesus is not an “out” from the suffering and pain in the world, nor does it necessarily guarantee an explanation from the divine for each unique situation of suffering and loss. However, there is a joy which comes as a consequence of discipleship which is found when we “decide to live in response to the abundance of God and not under the dictatorship of our own poor needs”  (Peterson, E. H., & Peterson, L. (2021). Long obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society. InterVarsity Press). Our own expectations for a life free from suffering, pain, and loss often rob us of the chance for a beautiful life shaped by the Holy Spirit in all circumstances, still sure of God’s goodness, His heart posture towards us, and His promises for the future.